An Antihero's Ballad
by NormanWhitesmith
Summary: After trying to do the right thing for once lands Wario and Waluigi in court, they must defend their actions before it's too late.
1. Part One

_Norman Whitesmith back again! I didn't have what I wanted ready for this week's release, but this was being created for a contest I entered on the Mario Amino site. It's called the Bundle Challenge and you're given a character, a location, and a plot type to write a story with. I got Wario, Dream world, and McGuffin. Though this isn't finished, I need to post something!_ _There's nothing really to say other than that this isn't finished and to please leave a review. Without further ado, I present you Part One of an Antihero's Ballad._

XxX

Part One

XxX

Silence settled over the courtroom with the exception of a few high-pitched coos from Mario. Though he wasn't exactly physically able to be a witness, his very presence was enough to partly remind everyone of why this trial was taking place. But who were the unlucky on trial. It was none other than the famous thieves/ treasure hunters Wario and Waluigi. In their latest attempt to steal something, presumably to add to their collection, Mario got mixed up in it at the wrong time.

Mario had confronted the treasure hunters at Bean Bean castle, but got forced into drinking some water from the Fountain of Youth that the thieves had in their supplies. After that, Mario had been rendered an infant of about six months to a little under a year. At the moment, he sat in Peach's arms sucking on a pacifier contentedly.

Luigi, of course, was with Mario too and even suffered his fate, but the princess didn't really focus on him as much as Mario. Instead he sat on the ground silently, wearing green footie pajamas as he shook a rattle forlornly. Nobody payed him any attention.

But what were the crimes of Wario and Waluigi that nearly all of the Mushroom Kingdom was crammed into this single courtroom to see the outcome of?

"All rise for the cases of Wario Galelei and Waluigi Orlando," said the judge, an older Toad with grey spots, pounding the gavel onto the desk in order too bring the chatter and gossip filling the room under control.

After a moment of perfect silence, a cooing noise accompanied by pit patting against the floor caught everyone's attention. Crawling across the floor slowly was none other than Luigi. Nobody said a word or tried to stop him as he drew closer to where the defendants sat.

Wario and Waluigi sat with sullen glares upon their faces, staring straight ahead at the giant judge desk in front of them.

Wario leaned over to Waluigi. "You think that maybe that giant and tall desk is compensa-" Wario was cut short by a tugging sensation upon his pant leg, looking down to find the infantile Luigi staring up at him with piercing blue eyes.

"What do you want, squirt?" Wario snarled at the child, but to no avail as the infant stayed put.

"U-u... uhp!" said Luigi in an adorable voice that the court couldn't help but aww at, even if Luigi was the second banana.

"No, I'm not picking you up, brat!"

Luigi started to whimper, but got another response before he could cry. "Crying won't make me pick you up either."

Luigi, understanding his first two tactics weren't working to get himself some attention, scooted himself closer to Wario. Wario, ignoring the infant and hoping he'd go away, stared straight ahead before suddenly feeling something moist clamp onto his pant-leg. Luigi was busy chewing on Wario's overalls with his smooth gums.

"OKAY, FINE, I'LL HOLD YOU!" Wario snapped as he picked up Luigi, too busy making happy noises to be scared of Wario.

"Weeshie!" sounded a voice from the other side of the room, belonging to Mario as he sat up and assessed where his brother was.

"Mawo!" shouted Luigi back before happily, flapping his arms in a type of greeting before snuggling up in the fat man's arms.

"I'm surprised he even got near you after eating so much garlic," whispered Waluigi.

Wario glared at Waluigi before staring ahead at the judge that was getting ready to speak.

"I will read you your charges and you will either plead guilty or not guilty. Understand?"

Wario and Waluigi, both rolling their eyes, nodded.

"Your charges are theft, assault, and the maiming of Mario Puzo Mario and Luigi Galvani Mario-"

"Excuse me, but this isn't harming at all!" Wario exclaimed as he held up Luigi, who shook his rattle a few times for good measure before making cooing noises.

"I think Mario needs a change," said Princess Peach suddenly as she stood up from her seat, clearly scrunching her nose up at a bad smell before turning to Wario, a rare type of anger displayed on her face. "This is harm. Mario used to be babbling and trying to talk again, but it appears he's given up on trying to act like an adult now. This is your fault."

Wario replied with a snort. "You know, we only did this to them to get them out of our way without hurting them. Fountain of Youth water is pretty benign in effects compared to other things we could have done to them. Besides, how did I hurt Mario? Did I hurt his widdle feelings?"

Mario began to sob loudly, presumably in response to Wario's comment, kicking his feet in a full blown hissy fit. Peach could only walk out of the courtroom, glaring with venom in her eyes at Wario and Waluigi. Waluigi simply snickered in response, leaning his chair back and putting his feet up on the table before getting a glare from the judge and deciding better.

"I will choose to ignore that outburst, Mr. Galilei and Orlando. How do you plead to these charges?"

A tiny toad, the court appointed defense attorney with the name of Griffin Wrong, stood up slowly, his almost non-existent knees clacking together. "In accordance to the plea bargaining, they plead guil-"

"Not guilty!" shouted Waluigi suddenly, standing up.

Wario stood up from his seat also, cradling a napping Luigi in his arms as he spoke. "We're pretty open about how we're thieves and really wouldn't hesitate to jump you if we were to meet in an alley somewhere, but believe us just this once. We were trying to protect you this time. While some of those charges are more or less true, they were for very good specific reasons!"

The judge gave a laugh before leaning over the top of the desk towards the two treasure hunters. "And what were those reasons?"

"It's a very long story."

"We have some time."

"Fine," stated Wario as he began. "This all started when that little miss perfection Lady Ambrossia came into town..."

The courtroom nodded, remembering the arrival of the benevolent Lady Ambrossia into the Mushroom Kingdom seemingly out of nowhere. However, she seemed too nice for anyone to say anything slanderous about her. She had a heart of gold.

"... Waluigi and I instantly knew we didn't like her one bit. Something about that smile was ominous and both of us could feel it. However, it was when Waluigi saw something that confirmed our suspicions that something was amiss."

A sudden cacophony of protests filled the court.

"But she's really nice!" screamed one.

"She made me cookies!" belted out another.

"ORDER, ORDER!" yelled the judge, pounding his gavel on the desk rapidly until all complaints. "We are going to let these men finish their stories." The judge focused on Wario once again. "And just what did Waluigi see?" asked the prosecuting attorney, who had gotten up from his seat and began pacing once Wario began to tell his tale.

"Well," Waluigi started, "I was lurking around the alleyway to see if anyone needed their wallet lightened for them, when I saw Ambrosia enter the alley. I hid, not really wanting to deal with her. But then suddenly, a purple light surrounded her and when it cleared, a shining bat like creature was in her place. It spoke something I couldn't remember, but it was in her voice, proving it was Lady Ambrosia, before merging into the shadows and disapearing."

"And just what did-" the prosecuting attorney started to ask before getting cut off by Wario.

"Hold your applause til' the end of the story please!" butted in Wario, who stuck a finger from his free hand up his nose. "Though this all happened a week ago, I remember it like it was yesterday..."

XxX

"So you're sure this is the train that the key half is on?" asked Wario, as he sat in his tacky overcoat that couldn't really hide his identity from anyone who had heard of him before.

The two men, friends that were commonly mistaken for twin brothers, currently sat in the bustle of the Toad Town depot, waiting to get their hands on the treasure that was supposed to help them. They sat on a bench, both wearing incredibly cheap looking trench coats, though it was the middle of summer. To complete the look, they were both reading free comic books that they had gotten from a booth when the fair was in town. Newspapers were too expensive for the thieve's tastes.

"I'm absolutely sure. I did the proper research. The museum currators will be escorting the crate of the train without too much fanfare. So just look for anybody who is getting off the train behind us that looks suspicious."

A toad with dark grey spots and sunglasses hopped off the train, looking back and forth before suddenly dashing off with a briefcase in tow.

"-but not too suspicious," Waluigi added.

Wario scanned the crowd, noting how majority of the people were moving quickly except for a koopa with wire-rim glasses, struggling with a crate.

"That's our guy," Wario nudged Waluigi pointing to the koopa. Both men nodded at each other before putting down their comic books and getting up.

XxX

"OBJECTION!" a man from the crowd with spiky black hair yelled, causing everyone in the room to turn and glare at him.

"What, I'm an attorney on vacation. I need to stay in practice if I want to beat Edgeworth one day."

Everyone gave one final glare before turning to the judge.

"And please remind me the significance of this thing you stole?"

Waluigi sighed. "What it wah-s was a half of a key intended to open a portal to the dream world. If this Ambrosia lady was the bat creature Antasma, which matches up to my research as the bat who haunts the dream world, then there was only one antithesis to destroy him: the dreamstone's spirit."

"Didn't Mario and Luigi destroy this creature?"

"They say they did, but it appears to us now as if they were wrong and maybe a part of him survived and came back to get revenge. The dreamstone alone has the power to stop him, but since the one on our side of the dreams is destroyed, we have to get the soul from the dream world!"

"Okay, and what did you do, Mr. Galilei, after getting this first key half?"

XxX _To Be Continued_ XxX

 _Though this isn't as good as what i usually release, I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. My brother and I were always reading the free comic books from the fair when we were kids. Let me tell you, Aqua Duck was lit! Though it actually wasn't, I like to pretend it was to fend off the numb feeling from within..._ _ANYWHO, that's all I really have to say other than leave a review and tune in next week to see the exciting conclusion of this story. Norm out! And remember that the dreams of the nineties are still alive in Portland!_


	2. Part Two

_Well, I tried. Unfortunately, this will need another chapter to wrap it up and I didn't finish in time for my weekly Thursday release. However, please do review and tell me what you think. The chapter transitions aren't smooth becasue this was originaly intended to be one long thing, but that didn't happen here. In other words, the dialogue this starts with is a direct continuation of the last chapter's dialogue. I hope you enjoy anyways. Without further ado, here's part two._

XxX

Part Two

XxX

"Well, after snatching the key up surprisingly easily, we read the writing on the key half and went to the BeanBean Kingdom's castle garden. There was no security on crew at the time, so we took our chance and went in. We found the other key half without much difficulty, because it was only behind a false wall as well as being on top of a pedestal. Also, it was floating and glowing oddly, which might have given away that it was magical. Either way, that was when the Stupid Malleo Brothers came to stop us. Apparently, Lady Ambrosia somehow got wise to what we were doing and sent them after us."

"So what you're telling me is that the almost indisputably nicest lady around sent the Mario Brothers after you?" the judge asked, the prosecuting attorney sitting off to the side pouting that he wasn't getting to ask the questions at the moment.

"Yeah, she seemed to have told them we were doing something dangerous and stuff, because Luigi here was blabbing on about how 'oh, you musn't destroy the world' this and 'my bro will take care of you good' that," Waluigi responded.

"Oh really?" butted in the prosecuting attorney as he tried to gain relevance. "Well how about we ask Luigi? Bring him up to the witness stand."

"The kid's sleeping," Wario pointed out.

"Well wake him up."

"He can't talk. Babbling won't do too much for your case."

"We'll see if anything he gives us is useful."

"Fine," grouched Wario as he poked Luigi repeatedly. "Kid, it's time to get up."

Luigi only shifted himself and murmured dreamily.

"Loser, IT'S TIME TO GET UP!" Wario shouted, startling Luigi awake, causing him to start to whine. Wario quickly jammed one of his fingers in Luigi's mouth. "Just can it already. We don't have time for a pity party, because you're wanted at the witness stand."

Luigi made a confused noise around Wario's finger before shrugging.

"I'm just as confused as you are. But no time to argue with the idiots, just do the best you can."

The prosecuting attorney quickly came over and took Luigi from Wario, placing the baby on a giant stack of books that was hastily placed on top of the witness stand chair. Luigi barely peeked over the top of the desk and couldn't see the rest of the room too well, but didn't seem to care too much as he stared at the attorney in confusion as to what he was supposed to do to be a witness.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" asked the attorney.

"Galababada!" Luigi answered, flailing his arms.

"In other words, give me straight answers."

"Wasas baba."

"... Just tell the truth."

"Okie."

The attorney stared at the child before starting to pace back and forth. "The two men that did this to you were telling their story, but you were asleep and didn't hear it. However, one detail as to what caused you to get near them in the first place bothered me. Did Lady Ambrosia send you?

Luigi nodded.

"Ha!" shouted the prosecutor, turning around and facing Wario and Waluigi. "You men are lia-"

The attorney stopped short before turning back around to Luigi. "Wait, she did in fact send you?"

"Ya," Luigi babbled.

"And did she by chance tell you that they were doing something dangerous?"

Luigi blew a raspberry as he made an explosion motion with his hands.

"I see... I have no further questions," the attorney said, before noticing Luigi was off the stack of books already, making his way across the floor to Wario. Wario was especially warm with his extra weight, making him ideal for napping on.

The judge shifted in his seat. "Well that was... interesting. And can you tell us how exactly you made the Mario Brothers like this?"

Waluigi stood up. "I'll explain this one. We used water from the Fountain of Youth on them. Considering we're tresure hunters, we always try to keep things that could be useful on us. When we were confronted, we needed to use something that wouldn't harm them too much, but incapacitate them."

"Oh, really?" asked the attorney. "Well how come you, the men who really don't care about anybody else didn't want to harm who could be considered your rivals?"

Wario snorted before holding up Luigi. "These men are heroes," Wario began, with Luigi giving a giggle from his attention he was getting, "or at least the red one was." Luigi frowned. "Anyways, they're always the ones supposed to save the world from an apoctalyptic disaster that was prophecized X amount of years ago. Though how so many correct prophecies can be going at once is beyond me. However, they're the ones to deal with the problems and not us, so it would be better to keep them around and unharmed until the next time the world starts to end. That way, we don't have to worry too much about our existences being on the line and we can focus more on looting!"

The attorney gained a strange look to his face. "That was oddly... honest... I guess Mr. Orlando can continue with his story."

Waluigi continued his story. "All it took was to splash Red with the water and he was history. Then the Green Blunder didn't hesitate to pick up his brother, and he couldn't properly go up against us without the assistance of Red and with his arms full, so..."

XxX

"W-what are you going to do to me?" Luigi whimpered as Wario and Waluigi slowly backed him into a corner.

Mario sat crying in Luigi's arms, burried under the bundle of his old clothes, squirming in discomfort and fear. Luigi was doing his best to protect his brother, but with Mario being turned into a baby and him cornered, the odds weren't in his favor.

Waluigi, as he closed in, pulled out a water bottle. Luigi's pupils shrank.

"No... anything but that!"

Waluigi advanced closer still before pausing, taking the lid off the bottle and taking a swig. "Man, intimidating others makes me parched," Waluigi said before taking a more ancient looking water bottle made of glass out of his backpack.

A single tear came from Luigi's eye. "Please don't."

Luigi began to sob, causing Waluigi to sigh impatiently, by the almost indistinguishable cries of both brothers. "You realize you're sounding like Mario, right? And you aren't even a baby yet!"

Luigi continued sobbing.

"Look, your fate is inevitable. Just put Mario down so you don't drop him and you'll be taken care of," Wario snorted as he looked at his watch.

"Wait, do you mean take care of them or _take care of them_?" Waluigi asked.

"I mean it in the literal sense! Unfortunately, the rest of the world is dependent on these two idiots and I don't feel like having to take their places as heroes! Just deal with Green already."

Waluigi glared at Luigi. "I suggest you put Mario down now so he doesn't get anymore water and disappear. Your fate is sealed, so just do it already."

Luigi, still sniffling, placed Mario down on the ground next to him, causing Mario to cry even harder. Luigi spread his arms wide, ready to take the hit. It was over in a matter of seconds as he was nearly suffocated in his own shirt before Wario picked him up and moved the clothing article away from his mouth.

"Let's open up the portal and get the dream stone so we can take down that dreamy dinglebat."

XxX

"And can you tell us why you, probably the greediest men on this planet, haven't yet started selling this supposed youth water you have to the public to make millions?" the attorney asked as soon as Waluigi finished speaking.

"Easy," said Wario, "We still need to find a million more bottles in recycle bins across town so we can maximize profit and not have to spend so much on materials."

"Oh."

Wario prepared to tell the rest of the story before he suddenly felt Luigi's gums clamp down on his overall buttons.

"Hey, hands off the merchandise!"

Luigi didn't care and kept chewing.

With a harumph, Wario reached into his pocket and pulled out an oddly shaped stone and gave it to Luigi. "There, chew on that. It doesn't have any curses on it," sneered Wario as Luigi happily began gnawing on the stone. "I think."

The green infant stopped and paused for a second before deciding that chewing the stone was probably worth whatever curses it had on it.

The judge sat up in his seat. "Please continue the story. You are nearing the end of it, are you not?"

"We are, but I'll tell it from here. So we opened the portal and nothing significant happened and the whiner brothers kept whining at us, though we weren't harming them in the least. Long story short, we entered the dream world..."

XxX

The light pastel rainbow of colors filling the entire new world of the treasure hunters as they entered the dream world for the first time.

"This place is amazing..." trailed off Waluigi as even the Mario Brothers decided to stop crying and take in the scenery. "But all these rainbows are making me sick. Do they have this place in grey?"

Wario elbowed Waluigi in the gut. "And just for that stupid question, you get to watch the little stinkers."

Wario piled Luigi, who he was holding, on top of Mario, who was already taking up all the space in Waluigi's arms.

"Listen, this is like rainbow unicorn land, or something like that. How about you take one of them, and I'll stay here and watch the other, as well as guard the portal. Alright?" Waluigi asked before dropping Luigi back into Wario's arms and walking away. "I'll be over here with Red."

Wario growled as he walked away, holding Luigi. The baby was too busy trying to grab at tiny clouds floating by to even attempt to complain. While most people would have absolutely melted at the sounds Luigi was making, Wario didn't care and trudged onward.

It was only a matter of minutes before a pedestal with a glowing stone on top with closed eyes came into view. Wario drew closer, his apathy evaporating for a fraction of a second as a smile drew across his face. Was this the end of his journey... well, it wasn't too great of a journey and was rather short, but he was still happy to reach his goal.

Suddenly, just as Wario was steps from the stone, a giant rainbow-colored wall dropped down in front of him, clanging surprisingly loud against the spongey cloud ground. A voice sounded from no real distinguishable source.

"May him who is pure of heart come forth and be judged in my square... OF DOOM!"

Wario burst out laughing. There were multiple things to laugh at. First, the "square of doom" didn't seem like too much of a valid threat. Second, even though it was clear to Wario that there was no way he'd pass the pureness of heart test, the answer was too easy.

Wario looked along the ground before finding the glowing white outline of a square and placed Luigi, who had somehow tangibly caught a cloud and was playing with it, in the very center. The square began to glow even brighter.

"MORTAL, YOU ARE NOT PU- Wait, this is probably the most innocent boi I've ever seen. I guess I kind of have to let you in."

The cloud Luigi was holding began to poke him, as if alive, and caused Luigi to giggle adorably.

"Yeah, I guess this fella really can't do anything bad. You can pass, little guy," said Indiscernable Voice.

As quick as it appeared, the gate disappeared. Wario, who had been standing out in the open the entire time, snickered. Could whatever thing that was only see what was inside the square? How pathetic.

Wario began to walk briskly, scooping up Luigi as he neared the stone. Now the treasure was his for the taking.

XxX

 _Sorry for this story needing to get another chapter, but I still hope you enjoyed this. Please leave a review. Also, the next chapter will be posted as soon as it is finished, then this story will be complete. And if you're wondering why nobody asked why Wario and Waluigi haven't changed Mario and Luigi back, that question didn't fit in this chapter and will be in the next! I have nothing else to say, so Norm out! And remember that if your water isn't grass fed and free-range, then that's abusive._


	3. Part Three

_It's finally complete! Thank you for reading this all the way. Please do let me know what you think. It took me so much longer to write this than I anticipated, but I'm glad that I'm done. I hope you enjoy and as always, please leave a review. I can always use constructive criticism or a simple "Good Job". Thank you. Either way, without further ado, I present the third and final part of An Antihero's ballad._

XxX

Part Three

XxX

Wario sighed as he approached the stone. This whole thing was supposed to be... more McGuffin-y if anything. But he'll take what he can get in order to take out Antasma. A sudden shriek from Luigi in his arms caused Wario to look down. The cloud that Luigi was playing with was now a stormy grey and was shooting out small thunderbolts.

"I swear this Green is nothing but trouble..." muttered Wario as he started swatting at the cloud. "I think it's time for you to go, cloud. You're scaring the kid."

The cloud went backwards from the force of Wario's blow below glowing with electricity. The rainbow colors of the area suddenly turned black and red. Scared and unable to do anything, Luigi began to sob and snuggled up against Wario for protection. Wario, not exactly thrilled about the tiny person leaning up against him, gently put Luigi on the ground behind a rock before turning to the cloud that had now grown in size and was shooting bolts of electricity everywhere.

Wario cracked his knuckles. "I guess everything couldn't be this easy."

Wario charged, not even thinking or caring that technically a cloud is more or less intangible. Technically speaking, clouds shouldn't be alive either! Luckily, Wario's fist made contact and the cloud flew back and got smaller. Realizing that however illogical punching seemed, it was still the answer to defeat this cloud, Wario kept giving the cloud his fist, receiving only minor electrical shocks. Finally, the last wisp of the cloud disappeared and the sky turned back to rainbows.

Wario quickly walked his way over to where he left Luigi, a few yards away from the fight.

"Count your lucky stars that I was-" Luigi was gone and only the bundle of his now oversized clothes remained on the ground. Wario growled.

"I guess I'm going to have to find the little squirt now."

XxX

"And you expect us to believe you defeated an electrified cloud by _punching it_ , Mr. Galilei?" asked the judge, leaning forward in his seat.

"Pretty much," replied Wario nonchalantly.

The judge sighed. "I'm getting a headache. Someone bring me some medicine, and you can continue your story, sir."

XxX

Long story short, Wario ended up fishing a completely naked Luigi out of a tiny pond that was nearby. Luigi's attention span must have been affected when he was regressed, because he seemed to had lost interest in the fight and wandered off. Upon finding a pond, it didn't take long for Luigi to find a living lilypad that gave him a ride to the middle of the pond before promptly dumping him in.

Wario heard the strangled cries and quickly followed them to find Luigi sinking. While rescuing the infant wasn't hard, it still upset him to get wet in order to drag the child out of the water. After getting out of the pond, Wario placed Luigi on a nearby rock.

"And if you find anymore inanimate objects that are alive LEAVE THEM ALONE!" Wario screamed.

The teary eyed infant nodded yes before noticing a butterfly floating by and tried to grab at it, completely forgetting what he agreed to just seconds ago.

"I guess you're kind of a lost cause, aren't you?" asked Wario as he picked up Luigi, snatching him away from his butterfly, and wrapped him in his old green shirt for covering and warmth. "Let's get that stone and get out of here."

Wario retraced his steps back to the dreamstone pedestal, thankfully no more squares, triangles, or whatever elses of doom appearing, and approached the stone.

A small ammount of energy radiated from the soul of the dream stone as it remained motionless with its almost cartoonish eyes closed. Wario, with a guffaw, grabbed the soul up in his meaty fist, but almost dropped both it and Luigi when it suddenly moved.

"UNHAND ME, HEATHEN!" screeched the soul, causing Wario to groan. "What in the Zeekeeper are you doing with me."

"Taking down Antasma," Wario responded.

"So you think you can just use ME without my consent?"

"Are you saying there's a better way to eliminate that fool?"

"Yeah, sure. It's in Nunya... Nu-"

Wario shoved the soul in his pocket. "Yeah, none ya business, as if I haven't heard that one before. But at least I have the stone now. Time to go find Waluigi and get out of this dreamy nightmare."

Luigi shrieked in agreement.

Wario looked down at the infant and sighed. "You're just going to cause me nothing but difficulty, aren't you?"

Luigi giggled.

"Why does everything have to be like this?"

XxX

The attorney, listening to Wario's tale, pulled out a notebook and quickly wrote something on it and turned to the judge.

"Your honor, please add kidnapping to the list of charges."

"EXCUSE ME?" shouted Waluigi, waking up Luigi who had once more fallen asleep, "But when we took the stone out of the dream world, all it did was-"

Wario nudged Waluigi. "Just let them. All in good time, my friend."

Waluigi sighed as he sat down. "Fine. Just finish up your story."

"So let's see... Where was I? Oh yeah. So I walked back and found Waluigi and Mario..."

XxX

Wario came back to the clearing Waluigi stayed in and found him alone.

"Where did the red squirt that you agreed to watch go?" Wario asked.

"He messed himself, so I went and put him over there," Waluigi pointed to another small pond nearby where Mario sat with his lower half submerged, clearly pouting.

"Mawo!" Luigi shouted, grabbing Mario's attention, causing Mario to turn around with a giant smile on his face.

"Weeshie!" Mario shouted back, crawling towards Wario, out of the water, trying to get to his brother.

Wario, just wanting to get out of the rainbow land of dreams that seemed like they were trying to kill you, picked up Mario and slipped him into Luigi's old shirt next to his brother. Mario quickly latched onto Luigi in a hug.

"Okay, now that this is all taken care of, let's get out of this place that looks like a unicorn puked it out," Wario grunted.

"Yeah, let's get out of here. But one thing that still confuses me is how were supposedly in a desert, yet there are still ponds everywhere..."

"Doesn't matter," said Wario as he grabbed Waluigi's collar and jumped into the exit portal. "We have a lady to catch."

XxX

"And we would have found her... or him. Whatever. We would have found her, but we were arrested as soon as we got back into the kingdom!"

The judge stared at Wario and Waluigi quizically, not sure what to do with their story. While on one hand Luigi seemed to trust them enough to nap in Wario's arms and he agreed that Lady Ambrosia sent him, there was still the other hand. Lady Ambrosia was too nice to be evil, much less the evil Antasma.

A sudden bang of the courtroom doors opening drew everyone's attention. Lady Ambrosia in all her glory walked in, causing all men to swoon. All men that is, except Luigi, who suddenly gained a weird worried look to his face and started crying.

Lady Ambrosia was a shorter woman, but still had nice olive colored skin and blonde hair. She was slim and seemed to have a scent that could cause one to remember their grandparents, yet was still very young looking.

"Oh my lovelies!" she cried, flashing a smile with her impossibly white teeth. "I was only here to take care of the ones who have slandered me so."

Lady Ambrosia dropped to the ground dramatically, causing everyone to gasp and glare at Wario and Waluigi with a new kind of hatred. Even Mario, who had long since come back into the court's meadow with Peach, glared with pure hatred in his eyes.

Luigi, oblivious to all the glares, continued to cry and seemed to be snuggling up to Wario as close as he could to seek safety. Wario, of course, noticed this and knew this had to be the real deal.

"You won't fool Waluigi and I, or the kid. Give it up."

Wario glared at the woman.

"Oh how the greedy man hurts me! I just wish to have him taken away!"

The guards by the door of the court started to close in on Wario and Waluigi, taking out their handcuffs. Wario stood where he did unfazed.

"Give up. You've already lost, Galilei. You can't do anything else."

"It's a darn good thing I'm a sore loser," Wario stated flatly before taking the stone out of Luigi's mouth and holding it up.

A ray of the sun hit it and the stone started to glow, casting colors all around the room. Everyone suddenly looked confused before gazing at who was Lady Ambrosia and screaming. A giant bat emitting darkness stood in her place.

"Oh why aren't you taking them away?" the bat said in Lady Ambrosia's voice before noticing he didn't look like her anymore. "I guess the jig is up, eh? Oh well I don't play by the rules either." said the bat in a sharply contrasting gravely voice before holding up his hands, causing the room to shake.

Reality warped for a second before the room seemed to be glowing in rainbows. They had been warped to the dream world.

"But tell me this, how did you get the stone when you've been in jail this past week?" Antasma asked.

"Let me tell you, these idiots that run the legal system are oblivious at best. They didn't even frisk me!"

"Ugh, tell me about it. But I guess leaving a chubby plumber guy to do your work can cause you to go a bit soft."

A shriek of protest came from Mario.

Antasma faced Wario. "I guess it is time for us to fight. So just how do you intend to defeat all-powerful me?"

Wario shrugged, placed Luigi in Waluigi's arms and turned back to the bat with a grin on his face. "I guess I'll deal with you the same way I deal with that tax collector and all my other problems- I'll punch you until you go away!"

Antasma shrugged. "Solid plan, but you won't succeed."

It was over in moments, leaving Wario the victor. Though there were many accounts as to how it happened, Luigi saw it as Wario, as he was flying towards the bat, cutting the cheese. As Antasma flinched from the smell, all it took was one punch, much like some other superhero somewhere. To say that Luigi was jealous that Wario was able to take out an enemy in one hit that caused him so much trouble would be fair, but truthfully, all he cared about was him and Mario being safe.

The room suddenly solidified in regular colors and everyone stared at the overweight man in shock.

"Mr. Galilei and Orlando, I hearby pardon you of all charges," said the judge quickly as soon as the dust settled. "Though it would be much appreciated if you changed the Mario brothers back to their former age."

Wario shrugged before pulling two tiny vials out of his pocket and tossing them to Peach, who caught them with one hand.

"That should fix them. Waluigi, give Luigi back to Peach, and let's get out of here."

"But don't you want to charge them for the cure?"

Wario shrugged. "I just want to get home and sleep right now, to be perfectly honest. We can scheme up something else later."

"Whatever," Waluigi replied as he put Luigi back in Peach's arms and followed Wario out of the room.

The courtroom sat in dead silence as soon as the two men left. A sudden poofing noise as well as a shriek from Peach drew everyone's attention.

Mario sat on the ground with the tatters of the diaper he was wearing barely hanging on. Mario took Luigi into his arms before standing up. He had pulled the lid off the vial and drank it.

"You know, I probably should have waited and thought that through better," Mario said.

"Yes, you really could have," the rest of the court room responded in unison.

XxX

 _I hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading this to the end. Again, please review and I can't wait to see what you, the reader, think. I always try to use the reviews to better my work so I can create better stories in the future. While this was admittedly very different from what I usually do, it was still kind of fun to make. I really have nothing else to say, so Norm out. And don't forget that writting jokes is more important than sleep!_


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